


Reginald Throws a Christmas Party

by MyDarlingClementine



Series: We were just kids [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: 10 year old klaus is a dancing queen, Christmas Party, Diego plays the bells, Five plays the piano, Fluff, Grace Is A Good Mom, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Wheeee runaway tag time, i was left unsupervised, no beta we die like ben, thats it its just a fluffy hargreeves kids christmas fic, we were just kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28271364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyDarlingClementine/pseuds/MyDarlingClementine
Summary: "Luther, if you think I'm singing 'five golden rings' anytime in this century, you've got another thing coming," Five hissed.
Series: We were just kids [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008057
Comments: 4
Kudos: 36





	Reginald Throws a Christmas Party

"Typical," Five spat as he listened to Grace's announcement about the Christmas party. "Dad even knows how to take the fun out of holidays. I'm sure this soiree will be full of big shot politicians or whoever he's trying to schmooze these days."

He turned and started pacing around the room, hands pulling at his hair. "And what do _we_ get to do? We get to perform tricks, like the trained monkeys that we are."

"Hey!" Luther responded. "Five, that's enough. Remember Dad's lecture? About how we need to show good manners at all times? This could be an opportunity for the Umbrella Academy."

Five scoffed and turned away. He was sick of Number One's blind obedience and repetition of Dad's rhetoric. 

Apparently, he wasn't the only one. "Opportunity, my ass," muttered Diego. "He just wants to humiliate us."

"Diego! Language." Grace interjected. Once delivering the announcement she had stood calmly, allowing the children the opportunity to speak, but foul language always triggered her circuits.

"You boys are just spoilsports," Allison decried even as her eyes lit up with excitement. "This is going to be so much fun!"

"Really?" Vanya asked with awe. "Are you going to sing a solo, Allison? Gosh, I would be scared to sing in front of so many people." 

In reality, Vanya was just praying that she wouldn't be excluded from this event. It's not like performing at a Christmas party required one to be _special,_ right?

"Have you picked out a song, Allison?" Grace asked.

Allison took a breath, and set a smile on her face in contrast to her scowling brothers. "I'm going to sing…' _All_ _I Want for Christmas is_ -" and she pointed at Luther as she belted out the words " _Youuuuuuuu'_." 

Luther turned a shade of crimson and looked away as the other children rolled their eyes simultaneously.

Grace simply nodded. "That sounds lovely, dear." She turned to the cluster of boys slumped on the couch. "Klaus, Ben, do you know what you want to do?" Grace asked. Klaus nodded his head vigorously while Ben shook his side to side fearfully. "Remember children, we need to tell your father tomorrow what you will be performing, so if you don't have a song you want to sing, I suggest you use the rest of this library research period to find one."

"This is stupid," said Diego, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back against the couch cushions.

"We could sing a song together," Luther suggested, and the others immediately scowled. "As a team. How about _'12 Days of Christmas'_?"

A collective groan chased its way around the room.

"Luther, if you think I'm singing _five golden rings_ anytime in this century, you've got another thing coming," Five hissed. He knew he had hit the mark when he saw Luther scowl, his face turning even redder. 

Before he could reply, Five continued. "Besides, I'm not singing, with you or anybody else. Vanya can play the violin and I'll accompany her on the piano."

Vanya looked over at Five, her eyes wide and hopeful. "Really? You - you mean that?"

"Sure," Five shrugged. "Why not. It's the best shitty option. Pick out what you want - I don't really care. Just find me the sheet music today so I'll have enough time to practice." With that, sat down in one of the library's big oak chairs, pulled the notebook he always carried out of his pocket, and began ignoring his siblings.

"Oh!" Vanya exclaimed. "Oh, thank you, Five! I’ll go pick something right now. Mom?" she turned to Grace. "Do we have sheet music in the library?"

Grace nodded. "Yes dear, I believe we do. Does anyone else want to look at sheet music?"

"I don't _need_ sheet music, I know the words already," Allison said. "And I don't want Five to accompany me, anyway."

"Good, cuz i didn't offer," Five muttered, not looking up.

"I'll accompany you, dear," said Grace. "What did you say you wanted to sing? _All I Want for Christmas?_ Is that by Irving Berlin? He's your father's favorite, you know."

"No, it's by Mariah Carey!" Klaus rolled his eyes and swayed his hips, mimicking Allison's earlier movements lewdly. "All want for Christmas is yooooouuuuu!" Luther's ears turned an additional shade of red.

“Ok, come on, we have to pick something to sing,” Luther says through gritted teeth. “How about _‘White Christmas’_?” Diego and Ben both shook their heads vehemently. Now that they knew that he was Dad’s favorite, anything by Irving Berlin was off limits.

“Hey we should do something fun. Like, ' _Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer’_?” Klaus looked around hopefully, but saw no takers. “Ok, what about _‘Frosty the Snowman'?_ ” 

“Klaus, we’re almost eleven. Not six. Let’s quit it with the kids songs.”

Klaus huffed and scowled at his brother. “Well everybody likes _‘Jingle Bells’,_ ” he muttered.

Diego looked up at that, an idea forming in his brain on how to make the best of a bad situation. “Hey! I want to do _‘Jingle Bells’._ Ben, you in?"

"Ugh, fine I guess."

"Good. You can sing and I'll do the bells," Diego smirked.

"Damn it, that's not fair Diego!" Ben protested.

"This whole _situation_ is not fair, Ben," Diego said with a shrug. "So it’s either that or you sing with these idiots." He gestured over to Numbers One and Four.

"Alright, great, ‘ _Jingle Bells_ ’ it is.” Luther looks around at his team. “That just leaves me and...Klaus?”

Klaus’s eyes lit up and he gave Luther a wicked smile. "Hey, I know what we can do. How about we show off those new dance moves Mom taught us?" He stood up and mimicked waltzing around the room holding an invisible partner.

"I’m not dancing with you, Klaus." It was Luther’s turn to roll his eyes.

"Whyyyyy noooot" Klaus whined, pouting at Luther as he continued twirling.

"What about... _Little Drummer Boy_?"

"Oh, sweet baby jesus, no!" Klaus yelled. 

"Klaus! Language!" Grace’s smile transformed into the _admonishment frown_ that Klaus was all too familiar with. 

"Sorry, Mom," Klaus grumbled. "But Luther has the... _stupidest_ ideas."

"How about -” Luther searched his brain for an idea, “- _Silent Night’_?" 

Klaus rolled his eyes. "Oh, fine. I don’t even care anymore."

“Now that that’s decided, maybe we can get back to ‘ _Silent Reading Time’,"_ Five muttered again from his chair. 

\---

The show went off... well no one would say without a hitch. But it went off just the same.

Allison insisted on going first (of course) and while her exuberance embraced the spirit of the holidays, her propensity to _barely_ miss the high notes while making up for the lacking pitch with excessive volume was more than enough to put a small crease between Reginald’s eyes. 

Sir Hargreeves seemed to relax slightly (as much as _relax_ was a verb that could be used to describe the uptight host) as Five and Vanya went next, playing a passable rendition of _‘Greensleeves’._ Reginald was pleased to see that Number Five managed to smile and look relatively charming (if one didn't look too closely at the sarcasm buried beneath the smile). He didn’t notice that Vanya was as red as a beet because he didn’t look at Number Seven at all. 

Numbers Two and Six (an odd pairing, thought Reginald absently) entered the stage area next. As Grace began playing the lively tune, Diego produced a set of sleighbells and began ringing them with forced enthusiasm. While his mouth moved at the appropriate times, it became quickly apparent that the only vocal sound was coming from _Ben,_ a sound which grew quieter and quieter until it disappeared completely by the third verse, leaving Grace’s piano notes and Diego’s bell ringing to finish out the song. 

Sir Reginald’s frown had returned.

As his guests clapped coolly and politely, he was glad to see the least disappointing child stepped out in front of the piano. Number One’s uniform was crisp, his hair was neat, and he stood with correct posture. Sir Reginald breathed an inaudible sigh of relief.

“ _Where is Klaus?”_ Luther whispered out of the corner of his mouth at Diego and Ben as he passed, but they only shrugged. 

Well, the show must go on. Luther pasted on his best smile, and nodded to Grace solemnly. And, as rehearsed, he opened his mouth and took a breath just as the instrumental bars of the music led towards the start of the first verse. Luther had practiced those words with Grace relentlessly over the last week, until he could utter them in his sleep. He knew the words backwards and forwards, and even considered singing in the original German (which he spoke fluently).

Alas, Luther never got to utter a single syllable. Just as he opened his mouth, he saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. Klaus stumbled into the ballroom, his disheveled uniform covered by a rich velvet cape that bore a surprising resemblance to a curtain from one of the third floor guest rooms. There was a crown of tinsel jammed on his head crookedly, and several long garlands wrapped around his shoulders and torso.

Luther blew his cue. And the next one. And the one after that, as Grace circled back smoothly for the third time. He was frozen in place in horror at the sight before him. 

Klaus appeared to be oblivious to the crowd, oblivious to the beat, but not _quite_ oblivious to Luther as he shot his brother a dastardly wink as he spun past. Half a waltz, half ballet, and half a herb-induced trance, Klaus stumbled, bowed, and spun around for a good fifteen seconds before he finally crashed into one of the Christmas trees, causing it to topple over onto the piano with a tremendous _crash._

That snapped Luther out of his trance. A quick look at their father showed barely restrained hostility. Luther was sure that it was only the presence of the many guests, some of which were chuckling politely, others who found a sudden interest in the buffet table, keeping Reginald's temper at bay. 

Luther knew he was expected to fix this situation, so he did the only thing he could think of: he walked over to his brother, extracted the flailing mess of limbs from the tree's branches, slung him over his shoulder, and walked as quickly as decorum would allow out of the room.

“And to alllllll, a good niiiiiiiight!” Klaus cried out, his voice carrying over the sound of the piano and echoing in the high ceilings of the Academy ballroom.

The other children scrambled to make their exits, trying to be invisible to their father's enraged stare. Ever unflappable, Grace played on, the piano music soothing over the sounds of the disaster children's shoes shuffling over the polished floors.

\---

The children were each made to do seven days of dishes as a punishment.

Luther and Diego both handled their tasks with the usual competitive stoicism of Numbers One and Two.

Allison and Ben grumbled incessantly during their punishment days about how it was all just so _unfair_.

Vanya offered to do Five’s share. She felt bad, knowing that he didn’t do anything to deserve the punishment. 

“Oh, no way.” Five responded with an absent wave. When Vanya made to protest, he continued. “Klaus is going to do them, _aren’t you?”_

Klaus gave a wide grin.“Oh sure, fine, whatever. It was totally worth it. I mean did you guys see Dad's _face?_ It was as red as Luther’s."

\---

Unsurprisingly, the children were never again invited to Reginald’s annual holiday party. 

  
  



End file.
